Success Is Overrated

Well, this comes in the wake of my most important client giving me their month’s notice (that the other writers in the team have also received, so it’s not just me), so this is a bit weird, but very timely.

So if you hadn’t noticed, I’m going through a major period of rethinking my values and my goals in life. And one thing that has bothered me since my epiphany is an obsession I see a lot around me: that of success.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming successful people or people who want to succeed. I’m just tired of feeling like I must succeed on their terms, too.

What is success anyway?

Current social norms tell us that success is making money. Lots of it. You get a job, you work hard, and you make money. Because (and that’s a very Protestant thing, if you go deep down in cultural history (read Weber)) doing well in life is a sign that you’ve been “chosen” (it used to be by God, now it’s just being special or something).

If you read enough “tips for living” blogs and follow even just a few “life gurus” on Twitter, you’ll understand what I mean. “5 tips for success” “how to succeed in life” “how to change your life for success”–they all give a false impression that success (and especially monetary success) is as easy as following five tips or going through a bunch of pre-packaged (and over-digested) steps.

And given how many articles like these pop up every week, it’s a topic that attracts. People want to know how to be successful, usually as quick as possible. Network. Find that big job. Make a 6-figure salary. If the Occupy movement showed me anything, it’s that those dreams are, for most of us, castles in the sky, let alone make a decent living wage out of working in a Wal-Mart.

cherry blossoms

Seems fitting while discussing Japan… by PeterLee79 on Flickr

I was translating a manga this week, seemingly an indie one. The story happened between the 1st and 2nd World Wars in Japan. A crab fishing boat goes out to Kamchatka to fish, “for the glory of the Empire”, the bosses say. The venture is rife with inhuman and unethical practices: stealing, lying and abusing the workers. The waters are treacherous and the job itself very dangerous.

One day, one of the fishing boats is lost. The captain complains that he doesn’t mind losing a couple of sailors, but the boat was irreplaceable. Eventually, the lost boat shows back up after a stint in Russia, where the sailors learned about the “true nature” of communism (all flowers and sunshine). They plan a strike, which is swiftly broken by the Japanese military. Basically, your typical Communist Manifesto, illustrated manga edition.

But the one element of the story that’s relevant here (and I’m sorry for the digression) is that when a supply ship shows up to refuel the crab fishing fleet, the sailors are treated to an American movie about the conquest of the West, where hard work is rewarded by money and status. The presenter, all propagandist that he is, tells them that the lesson from the movie is to “work hard, because nothing else matters” and “hard work is rewarded”. A clever sailor shouts: “If that was the case, I’d be CEO by now!”

If success was only based on hard work and abilities, yeah, I’d be a CEO too. And a damn good one at that.

Life isn’t about money

But personally, I can’t get behind this model anymore. Yeah, sure, you need to make money to survive, but how much do you really need? A roof, food, some clothes, a way to entertain yourself.

I started thinking about other kinds of success, the kind that isn’t counted in dollars in your bank account or in the number of shiny things you own. Emotional success. Spiritual success.

Life isn’t about money.

Money is a tool that facilitates exchanges. Nothing more. It doesn’t even “exist” like I exist or this computer exists. When’s the last time you actually held coins and notes in your hand? As money becomes more abstract, I think, it gets more difficult to see how much it influences our behaviour in unhealthy ways.

I don’t pretend to be an economist or a psychologist. I’m just working from observation and experience here, so bear with me. But I’m sure if I did even a minimal amount of research, I would find something to support my claims.

I want to be successful in my relationships with others and with myself. I want to work towards fulfilling my human potential–and not only my potential for monetizing my work. “Human Resources“–probably one of the most harmful euphemisms in modern language. George Orwell would have a field trip with modern business speak.

I am more than the profit your company makes out of my 8 hours a day. I am more than my productivity. When we fall in this trap, when all we see is our productivity, instead of our meaningfulness, that’s when we are lost.

Ambition ends where happiness starts

Someone on Twitter told me last night that they were interested in my view on this topic because they were told they weren’t ambitious enough. And it was meant in a bad way, as in “how can you be satisfied with such a paltry life?”

This hasn’t happened to me, but I can imagine the replies I would give to such a comment. “How dare you judge how I want to live my life. I judge what is meaningful to me, and if I like my life the way it is.” If this person is fulfilled in all the aspects of her life–financially, physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually (Maslow!)–then what is ambition good for? Only to spoil a perfectly good and meaningful life.

Some successful people are happy–again, I want to say I’m not making generalizations here. But what I see is constantly unfulfilled people. Tantalus never eats his food; Sisyphus must always roll the rock back up the hill. It never ends. And we idolize these eternally unfulfilled people as leaders and models because they make money.

When being happy only means having a bigger house, a bigger car, a bigger TV, we become like Sisyphus and Tantalus, always working and never being fulfilled.

Someone who is happy and finds meaning in all the different aspects of his or her life has no use for ambition (and I mean ambition in the sense of getting a bigger job for its own sake). If the new job is meaningful and helps fulfill you in other ways, then go ahead and take it.

We need to be meaningful, not rich

One thing I’ve been struggling with in the past few months is how to be meaningful. How can I bring something positive to the world? How can I touch or change lives? How can I do good?

Money doesn’t buy meaning. Money buys things (or people, if you want to look at it this way). Getting a job might make me look more successful, but unless it fulfills a bunch of conditions, it won’t make me feel more meaningful.

Success is not synonymous with meaning. I refuse to accept that the worth of my life will be decided by my salary. I reject the premise that the only measure for ambition is a paycheque.

Traces in the sand

Waves. Sand. You get the picture. EaglElla on Flickr.

I want to be meaningful. I want my life to leave a trace that the waves of time won’t erase.



Filed under Life, Personal, Thoughts

5 responses to “Success Is Overrated

  1. I like how you defined what is it to be ambitious. Personally, I couldn’t stand to be at the bottom of the pile in my job because your job, whether you like it or not, is a lot of your life. I want to love my job, but I also want to be the best at it. That’s ambition to me, but it’s measured differently. I’m shooting for grad school in philosophy of religion or morality next fall, and unless I become a writer or lawyer, my success will never be measured in money; that is perfectly fine with me. Nobody is remembered for being “that rich guy.”

  2. I have always made the distinction between a job (that thing so many do for money) and work (what you do with your life).

    If you can combine the two, that is a wonderful thing. If more people were motivated by fulfilling their life’s purpose–their “calling,” if you will–then the world would surely be a better place. Aside from sociopaths, who would choose the trampling of other people and the earth as their goal?

    Carl Jung said that there is little reward in this world for those who choose inner development over the acquisition of money and power. I’d add that it is often difficult to persevere in such work when it is regarded almost as heresy, certainly with mistrust.

    Those who find no great meaning in the pursuit of empty titles and wealth are left to find their way with few signposts. But perhaps that is the essence of self-discovery–there are no established paths. To follow one would be to go astray.

  3. The last time I read a good blog post that made me think was a long, long time ago, so it makes me really proud that it is my former intern’s blog entry that makes me think. THAT to me, is part of my own success. That the people I love and have mentored have the capacity to make other people think, reflect and learn. Why do you think I teach? Why do you think I take mentees under my wings? Why do you think I give keynotes, speeches and talks? It’s certainly not for the money. It’s for the meaning it gives my life.

    Yesterday I was on top of the Sierra Madre de Guanajuato, on a mountain, sitting with my Dad and looking at the horizon. We were having a heart-to-heart, as we usually do when I’m in Mexico at least once, and my Dad was reflecting on who I was – he said “you are someone whose capacity to think is only surpassed by his capacity to love. You are a wonderful tree, and you keep bearing fruit and giving it freely even as people who aren’t worthy of your gifts steal from you or take from you without even so much as a thank you.” That was an incredible compliment on my Dad’s part, but I also think, it was very true. I give not because I expect to receive, but because it’s in me to give of my talents to this world.

    I am someone who can’t define his life without servicing a community and a society. And that gives enormous meaning to my life. Being able to create, and to see the seeds I sowed blossom, is one of the greatest gifts in this world. That’s why I am a professor, that’s why I mentor. For the meaning.

    You have enormous potential, Anabelle, and you are just scratching the surface of everything you have to give this world. Your writing is beautiful, eloquent and strong. Your soul has a lot of love and care and you are a great friend and someone who can be trusted and relied upon. You are there for the people who need you, even when others are not. Your life DOES have meaning, because YOU have made it meaningful. With every step, with every change of direction in your life, with everything you’ve tried. You have managed to make out of Anabelle who she is now, and I, for one, at one time your mentor and now your friend, I’m proud of who you are and who you are becoming. Because at every step of the way you maintain your soul and your life’s meaning. You have values, honor, loyalty and an amazing life and a really bright future. I look forward to seeing what other awesome stuff you create and bring forth for people to read.

    Much love,

    PS – on meaning, it’s always worth reading Viktor Frankl (whose book The Man in Search of Meaning is an absolute gem – Frankl is the creator of logotherapy).

    • Anabelle

      Thank you, Raul. Your words mean a lot to me and I will do my best to honor them.

      I’m still working, every day, to find more meaning in my life. I’ve only begun, I think, and I am also looking forward to seeing what I will bring to the world.

      Thanks for the reading suggestion. I’ll look it up :)

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