I woke up this morning with a strong feeling that I would be better off giving up on my job hunt, and this post by Stacey of Yarn Salad spurred my mind.
Of course, I won’t be better off financially. Like everyone, I have bills to pay and I have to feed myself. But I don’t need to make millions for that.
I’ve been to a ton of interviews this past five months. None of it has worked. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s something else, but it doesn’t matter anymore. If I start trying to understand why I’m not getting any calls, I just start doubting my decisions for the past seven years, and it’s not healthy. I’m smart and talented and I don’t need a skewed job market to destroy my self-image.
In the end, though, I think I’ll be better off personally and emotionally.
I often fantasize about getting a cabin in the middle of nowhere, preferably on the west coast of Vancouver Island, and spending my days writing and reading. Like I used to do as an undergrad, but more fun, because I can read and write whatever I want.
I often say I’m a city girl, and it’s true, but to a point. I’ve decided I won’t stay in Vancouver just for the sake of being here, especially if it’s making me miserable. But this city has proven disappointing in so many ways that I just can’t handle it anymore. I’m echoing Steffani here a lot, and I was only here for six months. I can’t imagine what a lifetime would do to me.
So, that’s it: I’m off the job boards. They won’t make me happy, or give me a purpose in life. For now, at least. Maybe in a few months, when I’ve figured out what I really want. It’s a slow process, figuring out what you want… and I need more time.
And seriously, I really love my pajamas. Clothing is so overrated.