Giving Up on the Rat Race

I woke up this morning with a strong feeling that I would be better off giving up on my job hunt, and this post by Stacey of Yarn Salad spurred my mind.

Of course, I won’t be better off financially. Like everyone, I have bills to pay and I have to feed myself. But I don’t need to make millions for that.

I’ve been to a ton of interviews this past five months. None of it has worked. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s something else, but it doesn’t matter anymore. If I start trying to understand why I’m not getting any calls, I just start doubting my decisions for the past seven years, and it’s not healthy. I’m smart and talented and I don’t need a skewed job market to destroy my self-image.

crowded

Difference in sameness. By linus_art on Flickr.

In the end, though, I think I’ll be better off personally and emotionally.

I often fantasize about getting a cabin in the middle of nowhere, preferably on the west coast of Vancouver Island, and spending my days writing and reading. Like I used to do as an undergrad, but more fun, because I can read and write whatever I want.

I often say I’m a city girl, and it’s true, but to a point. I’ve decided I won’t stay in Vancouver just for the sake of being here, especially if it’s making me miserable. But this city has proven disappointing in so many ways that I just can’t handle it anymore. I’m echoing Steffani here a lot, and I was only here for six months. I can’t imagine what a lifetime would do to me.

So, that’s it: I’m off the job boards. They won’t make me happy, or give me a purpose in life. For now, at least. Maybe in a few months, when I’ve figured out what I really want. It’s a slow process, figuring out what you want… and I need more time.

And seriously, I really love my pajamas. Clothing is so overrated.

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3 Comments

Filed under Life, Personal, Thoughts, Work

3 responses to “Giving Up on the Rat Race

  1. One of the reasons I have for the last several years been trying to become a full time freelancer writer is the job market/rat race situation. I am in the US of course, but it sounds like your situation is equally as frustrating.

    I don’t know if it was the right, wrong, or neutral thing to do, but I also gave up on trying to find a standard 9-5 job. I once went a whole month applying for 2 jobs every day. No responses. In a 3 years period I sent out 500 resumes when I stopped counting. I got three (3) interviews. No offers. Only one bothered to let me know I had not been selected. The other two I assumed after a month were not interested.

    It may be a major flaw in me, I don’t know. But for whatever reason I have never been able to break through the rat race in my entire life. So I said I’d live with family, and start my own income stream. I am not there yet, but every time I think about going back to the conventional job search, I am motivated even more to make this freelancing thing work somehow.

    • Anabelle

      It’s not a flaw. I really don’t think so. Some people are meant to work in an office, and some people aren’t. I’ve done it, and I really, really like my pajamas. I’ll take insecurity over having to wear clothes and transit 1.5 hours every day.

      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been so frustrated. I haven’t even been trying for that long and I feel exhausted as well. You will find a way :)

  2. Pingback: New Direction | Anabelle's Blog

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