Seriously? Make up your mind…

All right, I have another fit of doubt about my future specialization. I’ve considered myself a Victorianist since my second year of undergrad, when I fell in love with George Eliot. During my third year however, I discovered that I also loved post-colonial literature (no thanks to the prof that I had, but to the texts themselves, which redeemed the class).

I came here for the Victorianists, of course, and my thesis project is on Eliot. But I am having a hard time finding an idea for my PhD project within Victorian literature, which I need to have a strong application. On the other hand, my Caribbean lit. class this winter reconnected me with my love of the post-colonial, which I find more fascinating than ever. I’ve given my best grad school performance in this class; with a little editing, my final paper is definitely publishable; I’ve gotten my second A+ in my English lit. carreer and my first A+ in grad school in that class.

I wonder if my final paper could be extended into a full-blown dissertation; the topic is definitely fascinating, and the theoretical apparatus is lacking in the specific niche that I found. If only I could find more instances of the event I used in Lamming (laughter and violence juxtaposed) either in more of his novels or in other post-colonial writers… I need to think about this very thoroughly because it will change my choice of schools to apply to greatly. As a Victorianist I am better off in Victoria than anywhere else. As a post-colonialist UofT is attractive (they have Neil Ten Kortenaar), so is UBC.

I hate being confused.

P.S.: my theory prof liked my final paper. I scored an A.

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